Mukobwa niba ushaka kuzavano umugore uhamye banza wubahirize aya mategeko 10 y’urukubdo ukiri ingaragu

Niba ufite inzozi zo kuzubaka urugo rukomeye ukavamo umugore uhamye hari amwe mu mategeko agenga urukundo ugomba kubanza kwitoza gukurikiza kugira ngo uzagere ku ntego awe uhagaze bwuma.

Aya ni amwe mu mategeko urubuga Elcrema rwandika ku mibanire, rutangaza ko buri mukobwa wese ukiri ingaragu akwiriye gukurikiza mu buzima bwabo bw’urukundo:

1. Wikwihutira gushaka umugabo

Gukora ubukwe ukava mu nzu ya so na nyoko, ni indoto za buri mukobwa aho ava akagera. Ariko gukora ubukwe, bihabanye no kubaka urugo rugakomera. Kubyitondamo no kutabihubukira ni ingenzi cyane. Wirebera ku bandi, ingendo y’undi iravuna. Wikoreshwa n’igitutu cy’abantu, ngo wihutire gushaka umugabo kuko sibo bazakubakira. Gushaka umugabo ukubaka urwawe ntawe bitanyura, ariko kubaka rugakomera bikaba byiza kurushaho. Nta kikwirukansa, kandi ngo iyihuse yabyaye igihumye. Niba utarabona umugabo, ni uko igihe kitaragera kandi byanze bikunze, uwo Imana yakugeneye arahari.

2. Ntukibeshye ko imibonano mpuzabitsina ari ikimenyetso cy’urukundo

Mu mitego myinshi abakobwa bakunda guhura nayo, uyu uza mu ya mbere. Kumva ko kuryamana n’umusore ari ikimenyetso cyiza cyo kumugaragariza urukundo, ni ukwibeshya cyane. Ni bangahe se baryamana nyuma bagatandukana? N’ubwo mwaryamana ntimubura gutandukana. None se uko ukundanye n’umusore muzajya muryamana ngo ukunde umugaragarize ko umukunda? Uzajya kubaka urwawe utarabaye imbata y’ubusambanyi? Uzubaka rukomere?

3. Ntugategere umusore amaboko iteka

Iyi nayo, ni ingeso abakobwa bamwe bakunda kugira mu rukundo, ugasanga ibibazo bye byose agomba kubikemurirwa n’umusore w’inshuti ye. Iyo bimeze bitya, uretse no kuba umubera umutwaro aho kumubera umukunzi, agaciro yaguhaga karagabanuka ndetse akagera n’aho akwinuba. Shakisha akazi cyangwa icyo gukora kikwinjiriza, bizatuma akubaha kurushaho.

4. Ntuzashakane n’umusore umukurikiyeho amafaranga/ubutunzi

Abakobwa benshi bakunda kwitiranya amafaranga /ubutunzi, no kuzagira umunezero mu rugo baba bagiye kubaka. Yego si mabi, ariko si nayo shingiro ry’ibyishimo by’umuryango. Iyo umusore aguteretesheje amafaranga /ubutunzi, mugasezerana mukabana, akenshi iyo mugeze mu rugo, agufata nka kimwe mu bintu atunze yaguze. Uzi impamvu? Ni uko wamukunze aricyo ukurikiye, kurusha urukundo wari umufitiye kandi na we yarabibonaga, si impumyi. Ni byiza gushingira ku rukundo, aho gushiturwa n’ibintu.

5. Ntukanywe ibisindisha

Abakobwa benshi muri iki gihe, basigaye bafata ku gahiye. Uko umugabo asinda siko umukobwa yasinda. Umukobwa wasinze aragayika cyane. Umukobwa watangiye kurara mu tubari aba yatangiye kuba icyomanzi. Iyo ageze mu rwe nabwo biramugora, ndetse n’uburere bw’abana be bukaba busa n’ubwa ntabwo. Bibiliya ku bayemera, ivuga ko vino ari umukobanyi. Ni byiza ko wareka kunywa inzoga. Uretse no kukugayisha, inzoga zigira ingaruka nyinshi mbi ku buzima.

Bizakugora kubona umusore mukundana wiyubashye, mu gihe wahindutse umusinzi ukaba inshuti ya manyinya. Kubona umugabo uhamye mwabana rugakomera, bizarushaho kugukomerera kuko nta musore wapfa kwisukia umukobwa umurusha kunywa ibisindisha.

6. Ntukambare impenure! Uwambaye neza agaragara neza

Kwambara neza no kwiyitaho, biba muri kamere y’abakobwa muri rusange. Kwambara neza, ni ukwambara imyambaro itagutesha ikuzo mu bandi. Iyo wambaye neza, buri muntu wese aguha agaciro ukwiriye. Zirikana ko kwambara imyenda igaragaza ubwambure bwawe, nayo igira ubutumwa itanga ku bakubona kandi butari bwiza. Mu Kinyarwanda bavuga ko “agapfundikiye gatera amatsiko”.

Nugenda werekana ubwambure bwawe, umusore azakugirira ayahe matsiko kandi byose wabimweretse? Ahubwo azakoresha imbaraga zose birangire agusambanyije, aho gushishikarira kukugira umugore.

Kwambara neza si ukwambara ibihenze, ahubwo ni ukugirira isuku imyamabaro yawe, kumenya kujyanisha amabara, kwambara ibikubera atari ibyo wiganye bagenzi bawe kandi bitagendanye n’imiterere yawe,..

7. Ite ku mirire yawe

Abakobwa n’abagore bakunda ibiribwa n’ibinyobwa biryoherera, birimo amasukari menshi. Si byiza ku buzima bw’umuntu. N’ubwo ubifata wumva bifite uburyohere, ni nako bigira ingaruka mbi ku buzima. Uri kwikururira indwara ya diyabeti/igisukari. Ugomba gutangira kwitabira imyitozo ngororamubiri, kuko igira akamaro kanini harimo kugabanya isukari mu mubiri, kuyaza ibinure mu rwego rwo kwirinda umubyibuho,…

8. Ntukifuze gukundwa nk’uko ubibona muri filime, bitandukanye no mu buzima busanzwe

Abakobwa benshi hanze aha, baba bumva bakundwa n’abasore urukundo babona muri sinema zinyuranye z’inkundo. Nyamara siko ibintu byose abakundana muri sinema bakora byashoboka, cyangwa byakorwa mu buzima busanzwe. Hari amasomo twabigiraho ariko si byose.

Si buri musore wese mwakundana wabasha kuguha impano y’imodoka, nk’uko bikinywa mu mafilimi amwe n’amwe. Si buri musore wese mwakundana ngo ajye abona ubushobozi bwo kugusohokana buri gihe,..Sigaho guhora mu nzozi, no kugereranya sinema n’ubuzima kuko akenshi ntibihura.

Ibi bigendana no kurebera ku bandi bagenzi bawe. Iteka ukumva umusore mukundana yagukunda, cyangwa akagukorera ibyo wabonye nyirakanaka bamukorera. Ni imyumvire itari yo. Ubushobozi bw’abantu ntibungana, kandi baca umugani ngo ingendo y’undi iravuna.

9. Ntukifuze kwakira gusa

Kwikunda mu rukundo iteka ukumva ko bagukundwakaza, ko umusore mukundana agomba kuvunika cyane, ko agomba guhora agutetesha ,..bituma utaryoherwa n’urukundo. Urikunda wowe ntushaka gutanga no kugaragaza amarangamutima yawe.

Umuhanga mu mibanire y’abantu, Anthony Robbins, yavuze ko kugira ngo umubano urambe, biba byiza iyo wumva watanga byinshi kuruta uko wumva wakakira gusa. Birumvikana kuko nushyiramo imbaraga ukammwereka urukundo rutarimo imbereka, ntazazuyaza kugukorera nk’ibyo umukorera, ndetse wenda akarushaho kuko yizihiwe.

10. Ntugategereze ibyishimo byawe ku bandi

Abakobwa benshi, binjira mu rukundo bumva ariho bagiye kubona isoko y’ibyishimo byabo. Wikumva ko mugenzi wawe ariwe ushinzwe ibyishimo byawe. Ntuzategereze ko agukorera ibyo ushaka ngo wishime. Ibyishimo byawe, ni wowe bigirira umumaro. Wimwikoreza umutwaro wo kubigushakira wowe nta ruhare ushaka kubigiramo. Urukundo nya rukundo, si aho umuntu aba agiye kubonera amaronko. Ni amarangamutima muba mugomba gusangira.

Refe:Elcrem.com